dan sandler :: essays

grounds for termination

© 2001 dan sandler

Monday, Dec. 10, 2001.

This morning I came into the office and found myself in need of coffee. We have a little "kitchen" nearby with an office-sized coffee dripper, which is frequently full of hot coffee (it seems that many of my new colleagues are heavy into caffeine).

Upon arriving at the coffeepot (more of a coffeedrum really), I noticed that my feet were making little splish-splash noises on the tile. And that the countertop was sort of an odd brown, rather than the blue that I seemed to recall.

If you've already guessed what comes next, please award yourself one cookie.

Coffee was everywhere. I looked around, and couldn't even find a napkin (let alone paper towels, or a mop). The situation looked dire. I went back to my desk and did the only reasonable thing: gripe.

[09:24] <dsandler> So it looks like somebody went to make coffee in the 3fl kitchen ... without emptying the coffeepot.
[09:24] <dsandler> There's coffee everywhere.
[09:24] <sirjesse> Hehe. Cool!!! :-)
[09:24] <sirjesse> I guess that's why they tell you to make sure its empty first...
[09:25] <dsandler> "I guess."

Then, a minute later,

[09:31] <dsandler> WTF?
[09:31] <dsandler> I just went back to the scene of the crime, and the coffee slick is GONE.

I heard later that someone had made coffee without a filter, and the higher rate of flow had caused half-brewed coffee to spill catastrophically out of the drum's intake funnel. I suppose that would explain this:

I think this person, whoever he may be, has an urgent need for caffeine that can only be addressed by an IV drip.

I also think this person should quickly leave the company, since if he does not, it is possible that he might touch some of my code at some point.

© 2004 :: daniel sandler :: dsandler*dsandler.org
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