dsandler.org/wp

I’ve been watching Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, from episode one, and it’s weirdly fascinating. It is not because, as other media outlets have suggested, Jessica Simpson is a moron and watching her makes everyone else feel brilliant by comparison. It is because I have always wondered what my cats would say if they had the ability to speak, and in watching this show I feel like I have the answer.

Darryl notes this brilliant essay about the subtle, exquisite schadenfreude that is Newlyweds. It moves on from cutesy mockery of Jessica Simpson’s short-circuit from hindbrain to mouth (”I have to pee!”) to serious analysis of their bizarre predicament: “If Jessica and Nick are supposed to be the case for premarital chastity, they’re doing a wonderful job of sending people screaming in precisely the opposite direction.”