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scene-herd on Le cinquième élément: “I’m still disturbed that Milla Jovovich as Leeloo is Luc Besson’s vision of the ‘perfect/supreme being.’ What? Child-like, orange haired, and scantily clad?”

I tend to agree. Come to think of it, there’s very little textual evidence substantiating her supremacy. Instead, we are perpetually instructed — by such field experts as Vito Cornelius, Corben Dallas, the dopey military guy, and the dopey science guy — that Leeloo really is some hiterto-undiscovered Platonic asymptote.

Father Cornelius (d/b/a Bilbo Baggins of late) is probably the only member of this cosmic pair-figure-skating panel with any credentials at all in the field, and he’s no better than the rest of them. “She’s also so … fragile …” (gesturing girlie-curves in the air to a robot bartender)

It’s the same way, I suppose, with all impossibly, obnoxiously beautiful girls. Somehow they are esteemed (by hetero men, of course) to have evolved to some higher form of humanity, but none of those men can quite explain why without reverting to some lower form of pre-mammalian linguistics.

“Bzzzz.”