“Critical Condition”

Sex and the City season 5, episode 6
Original air date: August 25, 2002

Carrie goes with Stanford to see his new boyfriend, Marcus, in a jazz club Broadway revue. In the bathroom, she runs into a woman who recognizes her as Carrie Bradshaw. The woman then says, "I went out with Aidan right after you," and makes a weird "Eeesh" noise and a sour face as she shudders and shrugs all at the same time. Carrie can't let it go, and is obsessing about it with Samantha when they run into the woman again. Samantha tells Carrie that the "face woman" is Nina Katz, the talent scout for Saturday Night Live, at which point Carrie really can't let it go. She worries that Nina is going around telling everyone all over New York that Carrie really messed Aidan up. Carrie drops by Steve's, and he confirms that Aidan was really crushed when Carrie dumped him.

Miranda's been having so much trouble keeping her head above water with the baby that she hasn't had time to shower or even properly brush her teeth. The other mothers in the building shun her for not trying to join their sort of mother's club. They're not very sympathetic when Brady's crying late into the night, and when one of them comes to the door to ask Miranda to keep him quiet, Miranda, in desperation, says "he's a baby!" The woman looks at her very coldly and says, "I know. I have a baby too, which you'd know if you ever bothered to say hello in the elevator."

Carrie's other obsession of the episode is her book review coming out in the New York Times. As she considers Nina Katz and Miranda's neighbors, she ponders: "When it comes to life and love, why do we belive our worst reviews?"

Carrie bribes Samantha into helping Miranda out with the baby. Samantha very reluctantly agrees and gives up her fabulous hair appointment that was impossible to get to let Miranda take her place on the spur of the moment. Miranda's icy neighbor has taken pity and stopped by with a vibrating chair that calms Brady down. She's amazed that Miranda doesn't know about this wonder-chair, but Miranda explains that none of her friends have babies. Miranda admonishes Samantha not to take Brady out of the chair, but when the chair breaks (or runs out of batteries or something), she's at a loss. She then remembers her earlier trip to The Sharper Image, where she tried to exchange her broken vibrator. (She had an argument with the salesman who insisted that it was a neck massager - "The Sharper Image does not sell vibrators." In the end she got a replacement "neck massager.") So she puts the "neck massager" in the chair with Brady, who's as happy as a clam.

Charlotte's beginning her divorce proceedings, and it becomes apparent very quickly that she's attracted to her divorce lawyer. She's torn, because she wants to be cute and flirty, but at the same time, she wants to be ruthless and make sure that she gets the apartment in the settlement. The attorney's partner walks in, and Charlotte's appalled at him - he's a loud, brash, hairy Jewish guy who slaps her lawyer on the back and says, "He's a killer!" When he leaves, Charlotte turns back to her lawyer and asks, "Is he a killer, too?" and immediately switches lawyers.

Carrie and Stanford are out wandering through Central Park when they bump into Heather Graham and Nina Katz. Stanford's drooling over Heather Graham and offers to buy her a pretzel, leaving Carrie to confront Nina. She explains that Nina's criticism isn't fair and that basically, Nina wasn't there when Aidan and Carrie broke up. Nina accepts her explanation, and Carrie feels a lot better.

Charlotte's new lawyer's duking it out with Bunny and her lawyer. Bunny keeps harping on what a terrible wife Charlotte was to Trey, and swears that she won't give Charlotte the apartment. Her lawyer offers Charlotte a coin collection, and her lawyer scoffs at that. His assistant brings in a telegram from Trey that says, in direct contradiction of his mother, that Charlotte was a wonderful wife and that Bunny should give her whatever she wants. Charlotte asks just for the apartment, and the deal is done.