Friends season 9, episode 7
Original air date: November 14, 2002

Ross is ecstatic when he's able to make Emma laugh by singing to her. Of course, he's mortified that what he was singing that made her laugh was Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back." He doesn't want Rachel to find out, but too late - she's walked in while he's in the middle of it. She thoroughly disgusted, but when she's next alone with Emma, she tries everything to make Emma laugh and can't come up with anything. She tries "Baby Got Back" as well, and Emma starts giggling again. Rachel can't help gloating to Ross that he's not the only one who can make Emma laugh, although she does reveal that she had to resort to Sir Mix-a-Lot, too.

Phoebe's very excited because Mike's invited her to meet his parents, which is a step she's never taken with any boyfriend before. They live on the Upper East Side and are quite snooty, so she enlists Rachel and Monica's help to get ready for the evening. Rachel advises her to flirt, just a little bit, with the dad and to compliment the mom on how well her son has turned out. Both Monica and Rachel veto the dresses that Phoebe had picked out, so she ends up in a twin-set and headband, adopting a fake-snooty accent. Mike's very put off by the way she's acting and advises her to just be herself. She can't believe he's serious, but she does drop the accent, and when his mother asks her to tell them about herself, she reveals how she lived on the streets after her mother killed herself, got hepatitis from a pimp spitting in her mouth, and is now a massage therapist.

Things are not going well, so she decides to try flirting with Mike's dad: she makes a winking comment about how he must work out, and then playfully punches him in the stomach to make the point. Unfortunately, he's just had surgery and runs off to check that his stitches are still intact. Mike follows him to watch for signs of internal bleeding, so Phoebe resolves to compliment Mike's mom on how she raised him: she tells her that Mike's so considerate of women, and it must be a testament to how his mother brought him up. His mother's flattered, so Phoebe continues, revealing that Mike's a very gentle lover. She misreads his mother's shock and awkwardness as concern, so she reassures his mother that he can really go to town in bed "like a sailor," just as Mike turns up again. Everyone's agape, so she reverts to the fake accent again.

Meanwhile, Joey asks Chandler and Monica for their advice, because now that he's got some money, he feels like he should start investing it. Monica urges him to consider real estate, since it the only safe investment in the current economy. He finds out that Richard's apartment is up for sale, so he and Chandler go check it out. They see a videotape there with Monica's name on it. Chandler, extremely jealous, steals the tape and takes it home. He can't bring himself to watch it, though, so Joey does. Turns out it's only football, though, so Chandler and Joey walk away. The minute they have their backs turned, though, the tape cuts over to a sex tape. Joey, seeing it, tackles Chandler, just as Monica walks in. Joey drags her down to the floor too, and she demands to know what's going on. Chandler explains, and she says she just finds it sad that Richard still keeps years-old tapes to watch, because he obviously hasn't moved on. She realizes abruptly, though, that it's not even her on the tape - she's never worn cowboy boots! She's outraged, then, that Richard would have taped over her tape, at which point Chandler gets to have an "isn't this sad?" moment of superiority.

Back at Mike's parents', Phoebe keeps her mouth shut as everyone sits down to dinner, but as it turns out, they're having veal. Mike's angry, because he told his mother that Phoebe's a vegetarian, but Phoebe shushes him and says that it's fine: she loves meat, especially baby meat from defenseless animals. All eyes are on her as she cuts a small piece of the veal and tastes it. For a second, she looks fine, but she has to excuse herself to go throw up in the coat closet. While she's gone, Mike's mother urges him to call some other girls they know, more suitable girls. Mike can't believe that they can talk that way, after all the trouble Phoebe's gone to to make them like her. He chastises them for being unable to accept the woman he loves, just as Phoebe comes back around the corner to hear him. She says she loves him, too, and they escape.