Friends season 9, episode 5
Original air date: October 31, 2002

It's Phoebe's birthday, and she invites everyone to dinner, just the six of them together again. But, she and Joey are the only ones at the restaurant on time, and they have to fend off the maitre d' to keep him from moving them to a 2-person table.

Ross and Rachel are late because Rachel's anxious about leaving Emma for the first time. Ross' mother is coming to look after Emma, but she's stuck in traffic. Ross shoos Rachel out of the apartment, saying he'll stay till his mom gets there and that Rachel should go on ahead. Rachel's reaction is "Fine, but I need my purse," and of course, they're stuck in the hallway and the door is locked.

Meanwhile, Monica's preparing to welcome Chandler home from a week in Tulsa. She's hoping they can squeeze in a quickie before dinner, because she's ovulating. When he gets home, though, she can tell that he's been smoking in the Tulsa office. Literally IN the Tulsa office - apparently, in Oklahoma, you can smoke in offices that have fewer than fifteen people. All the rest of the employees there were lighting up in his face, so he lapsed back into it. Monica's furious and forbids him from smoking, at which he rebels and lights up, even though he had actually resolved not to smoke anymore. Monica really wants to try to conceive, though, so she puts the fight on hold so they can have sex.

Back at Ross and Rachel's apartment, they're waiting for Ross' mom who has the key. Rachel's freaking out about Emma being inside alone. She's afraid she didn't turn off the faucet, or maybe the stove, or maybe Emma will jump out of the bassinette. Ross reminds her that Emma can't even hold her own head up yet and that Rachel hasn't cooked since 1996. He concocts a whole scenario in which an eagle flies in the window, lands on the stove, catches on fire, Emma leaps out of the bassinette to help the burning eagle, but it sees her advancing as an act of aggression and picks her up in its talons; they're now locked in a flaming death-grip, but it's OK, because the running faucet overflows and douses them, although they're now swirling around in the water. Rachel chastises him that he's going to be really sorry if it's true.

At the restaurant, Phoebe and Joey have succumbed to the maitre d's pressure and moved to a 2-person table, which is woefully inadequate when first Ross and Rachel, then Monica and Chandler arrive. They all order, but Phoebe gets a call from Mike, who had had to work but got off work early. She leaves, which prompts Rachel to ask if she, Ross and Ross' mom and Emma, who she made sit at the bar so she could keep an eye on them, can leave. They go, and Monica asks Chandler if he wants to try conceiving again, since she's still ovulating. Joey's left alone with six entrees, which is like a dream come true to him. He tucks into them, polishes them off, and is thrilled when the birthday cake arrives, again all for him.