“The One With the Home Study”

Friends season 10, episode 7
Original air date: November 13, 2003

Phoebe and Mike begin planning their wedding and are immediately put off by how expensive a big wedding is going to be. They agree to donate all the money they would've spent on a wedding to charity and just get married at city hall. They go to the New York City Children's Fund to donate the money and are heartily thanked by the administrator who receives the check. When Phoebe tells Monica about it, Monica can't believe that Phoebe's willing to give up her big wedding day like that, since her own wedding day was so important to her. When Phoebe tries on Monica's veil, she realizes that she does want the big wedding, and resolves to go down to the New York Children's Fund to ask for the money back.

Chandler and Monica are preparing to meet with the social worker who will determine whether or not they get a baby for adoption, and Joey offers to stop by to put in a good word. When the social worker stops by, though, she remembers that she's been in their building before — she slept with Joey once, and he never called her, and it's apparently still bothering her. Monica and Chandler deny being friends with Joey to the social worker, so when Joey tries to stop by, Chandler has to keep him out.

When Phoebe and Mike go to get their money back, the administrator hands it over, but ridicules them for reneging on their donation. After they get the money back, though, Phoebe feels terrible about taking the money back, because the kids that the money would have gone to were like Phoebe growing up on the streets. However, the administrator at the Children's Fund refuses their check when they try to donate the money again.

Ross picks Emma up from Rachel to take her to the park, but Rachel flips out because she's got an irrational fear of playgrounds, having gotten her hair caught in a swing when she was young. Her mother had to chop her hair off to get her free, and Rachel is still traumatized. Ross coerces Rachel into coming to the park with them to get over her fear, and she finally agrees. She's even willing to try getting on the swings until Ross gets kicked in the head by a kid on a nearby swing. She and Ross make a deal, though — if she'll try swinging, he'll hold a spider. She finds a spider and makes him hold it and then she gets on the swings, and ends up kicking Ross as well.

When Chandler and Monica start calling Joey "Bert" and referring to him as the crazy guy who roams the halls — "but he's great with kids" — Joey climbs up the fire escape, thinking that they're in trouble. Monica grabs the social worker and takes her into the baby's room, but when they come out, Joey's standing there with a baseball bat. He has to pretend that it was the social worker's fault that they never ended up dating. He claims that she was supposed to call him and that he was heartbroken. She's convinced and apologizes to Chandler and Monica for the scene. She recommends them for adoption, and their names are put on the list.