“The One With Princess Consuela”

Friends season 10, episode 14
Original air date: February 26, 2004

Monica and Chandler are entertaining Phoebe and Mike for a nice couples' dinner when Ross and Rachel burst in to share their good job news: Ross is up for tenure, and Rachel's been contacted by a head hunter for an interview at Gucci. Joey also rushes in to share that he's finally worked a seed out from his teeth.

At the coffee shop, Phoebe consults Monica on how you go about changing your name to your married name. Monica bluffs some stuff about the Ministry of Names, and Chandler realizes that she never did officially change hers. Chandler attempts to chastise her for it, but when her defense is that she couldn't face being an "official Bing," he concedes that really, who would want that? Phoebe asks them to test out "Mrs. Hannigan" on her and decides she likes it. When she gets to the Social Security office to file the paperwork, though, she's astonished to learn that she can change her name to anything. Drunk with power, she changes it to Princess Consuela Bananahammock and insists that everyone call her that. Mike is incredulous when she unveils her new name, but takes the tack that he'll just change his name, too. To Crap Bag. Phoebe acts as though this is completely fine with her, going so far as introducing Mike as Crap Bag to one of her clients. Eventually, though, the point is made, and Phoebe agrees to change her name again.

Monica and Chandler invite Joey to go check out their new house with them, and even though he's still opposed to the move, he agrees. While there, he tries to find fault with everything: it's too dark, there's mold, etc. He talks to the little girl who lives there, and she helps him come to the conclusion that there's nothing he can do about the move, and besides, moving is going to make Chandler and Monica really happy. Chandler gets a kick out of messing with Joey and telling him that there was a little girl who lived there, but she died thirty years ago. Joey completely falls for it.

Meanwhile, Ross has gotten tenure, but Rachel's job interview hasn't gone so well. When she arrives at the restaurant for the lunch interview, she's seated at a table right next to her current boss, Mr. Zellner. She tells Mr. Zellner that she's on a date, which of course makes her end of the Gucci conversation very awkward and inappropriate for the interview. She not only doesn't get the Gucci job, she's fired from her Ralph Lauren job. Ross only learns this after popping the cork on some champagne to celebrate his tenure, at which point he, of course, looks and feels like an ass.

Fortunately, though, as Ross is helping Rachel clean out her Ralph Lauren office, they run into Mark, her old coworker at Bloomingdale's who is now working for Louis Vuitton. Mark invites Rachel to dinner to discuss the possibility of a job with Louis Vuitton, which she eagerly accepts. Ross doesn't remember Mark at first, but when he remembers that he was the guy that caused their whole "break" several years ago, he urges Rachel not to have dinner with him. Rachel laughs him off, though, saying that Mark is now married and has kids. In fact, she's in a very good mood, because Mark offered her a job for great money, with Louis Vuitton, in Paris.