Burger report: Five Guys

We saw that Five Guys Burgers and Fries had opened a Sugar Land location last weekend. On President Obama’s (and my in-laws’) recommendation, we decided to check it out.

Considering the source of the recommendation, we had pretty high hopes. However, Five Guys didn’t make the cut among our burger testers. Dan thought it was excellent, but my mom and I weren’t that impressed. The quality of the burger itself was great, and the condiments were fine, which has not always been the case. However, their buns were too fluffy. They were too thick, number one, so the bun to burger ratio was too high, but they were also very airy. I like a denser bun, and my mom agreed. This was specifically where Dan and we parted ways, I think. As a side note, the fries, which get second billing in the name of the chain even, were not to anyone’s taste. I actually burned away skin on the roof of my mouth on one, which is a bit too hot, I think. (We had to be very careful about what we let The Boy eat, as a result.) Besides that, the fries were skin-on, which I’m not a fan of, and they’re thick and floppy, as opposed to thin and crispy, which is my preference.

Overall, Five Guys gets a 1.5 thumb rating, although I was tempted not to even give it the half-thumb I did (Dan, of course, was the 1). This puts it on par with Prince’s, so it’s certainly not terrible. In fact, Prince’s made the original Best in Houston list by the Chronicle, so some in Houston are sure to consider Five Guys a contender for that crown. My dad, however, as a (non-voting) guest reviewer summed up the experience with, “I wouldn’t go back.”

Correction: I have been alerted that my recollection of the scoring was inaccurate. My mom gave Five Guys a thumbs-up, as did Dan, so the revised score is 2.5 thumbs. I think that’s a bit high, but I’ll be accused of cooking the books if I rescind my half-thumb.

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