So pretty, it hurts

John Kerry has chosen John Edwards as his running mate, as you probably know by now, and all the media keeps commenting on how “youthful” and “good-looking” he is. First of all, I’d like to point out that these are not the substantive qualities on which, surely, Kerry’s decision was based. Second, I’m annoyed by the Bush campaign’s insinuation that these qualities make him less qualified a candidate; NPR quoted a source in the Republican party comparing Edwards to a Breck Girl — “not much going on behind the pretty face and the perfect hair.” Right, but Arnold had winning experience that made him the right candidate to tackle California’s budget fiasco.

Aside from all that, though, I’d like to point out that John Edwards is not attractive. Who are these people that find him so swoon-worthy? Both my mother and my sister said during the primaries that he was really attractive. I’ve heard interviews with middle-aged women who went to Edwards rallies and decided to vote for him because he’s “just so cute.” What the hell? I don’t find Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise attractive, either, for the record, but I at least see how others might. John Edwards is a goober. A goober with HelmetHair.

None of this is to say that you shouldn’t vote for the Kerry/Edwards ticket. You should, both because I said so and because George W. is an idiot who doesn’t deserve another crack at running the country (into the ground). But you shouldn’t be voting for them on looks. What is this, student council elections?

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