- Please be kind enough not to blow cold air in my face. I will yowl should you not comply.
- Please ensure that I am not too hot. I will yowl if I get too warm.
- Music I will not listen to, under any circumstances: “jazz brunch,” pop, hip hop, anything with horns or high hat, female singers. Please keep the radio tuned to ’70s stoner rock, or else I will voice my displeasure.
- Please avoid accelerating. And decelerating. And turning corners. And changing gears. And going over bumps. I prefer a smooth ride at 60 mph. Otherwise, I will shriek in protest.
- Do not be lulled into complacency by the fact that I have not spoken up in a few minutes. Else, I will be forced to emit a harsh scream to alert you to the fact that my needs are not being sufficiently tended to.
- It will perhaps be easier on everyone if you simply accept the fact that I will yell for the duration of the trip.
- If any of the above rules are violated — or if someone looks at me the wrong way — I may snap at my companions.
- On the other hand, any trip in which I can induce my companions to add their voices to mine is a good road trip.
This entry was posted
on Monday, May 24th, 2004 at 4:57 am and is filed under Whatnot.
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